Even Deeper Page 2

  Oh, fuck. He had a clamp. Something ridged. Something mean that fit right over my clit and sent a fresh wave of shivers through me. Why had I been in such a bratty mood? Why couldn’t I have gone to sleep—or faked sleep, at least—when he’d given me the opportunity? Alex was clearly enjoying himself, and now I was forced to do everything I could not to squeal. I lowered my head, blindfold in place, wondering if people were looking at us.

  Alex shifted me so that I was sitting more normally—as normally as possible with my hands bound—completely covered by the blanket, my chair set back. He said something to the flight attendant, but I couldn’t make out the words besides “Catch a little shut eye.”

  He was passing on the food, I gathered. Telling her we were going to rest.

  I wondered what she thought of the red mask. I wondered whether I looked odd with the blanket up to my chin. But I heard her wheeling the cart away and realized that if I did, she wasn’t going to say anything. Most likely she’d witnessed far more eccentric behavior from her first-class customers in the past.

  As I was thinking that, Alex reached under the blanket, this time slowly working my panties down my thighs….

  Chapter Three: Sex in the Air

  “Jack said you were going to fight,” he whispered, mouth against my ear. “He said to expect a change of attitude with the change in altitude.”

  I’ll be honest. I’ve had sex on a plane before. Several times, actually. And different types of sex, as well. But at this point, I wasn’t a member of that infamous Mile High club, and I was fairly nervous about what might happen to us if we were caught. I suppose that I am the rare breed of erotic writer who still is easily embarrassed, the rare type of exhibitionist who doesn’t always want to be seen.

  But I was wet as Alex pulled my panties down my thighs, sliding the sodden knickers all the way down my legs and off. And I was ready when he moved his body even closer to mine, when he quickly unclipped the pincher on my clit and his fingertips began to make those dangerous spirals that send me.

  I didn’t speak. Mask still on. Certain that everyone around us knew what he was doing to me under the blanket, but slowly finding that I didn’t fully care. My breathing started to speed up. Had Jack told him, “Touch her like this,” or did Alex simply know? This was fairly new ground for us. I was accustomed to Alex threatening me, Alex spanking me, and—when in bed with Jack—Alex fucking me. But there was no reason for him to be teasing me this way, strong hand stroking up and down, then around and around.

  “He gave me the toys he thought I’d like to use, the tools you’d crave the most, and he told me to employ my best judgment. Give you pain or pleasure based on the way you behaved. Warn you that I was in charge and see where that got me.”

  His fingers continued, sliding inside me, driving inside me. But he was speaking so slowly, so gently, that I felt caught off balance. I wanted to come. And I wanted more. Is that not the story of my life? Always craving more.

  “You hate when I’m in charge.”

  I didn’t deny the statement.

  “But look at you. Look what you let me do to you. If I pinch your clit right, you’ll come, won’t you?”

  I turned my head away.

  “Is that loyalty?”

  Ah, fuck, what were we doing now? His fingers continued their silky little games while his voice made mincemeat of my mind.

  “Should I tell Jack how easily you come for me? What do you think he’ll have to say about that?”

  My throat constricted. What would Jack say? I had no idea. If he wanted me to come at Alex's command, then this would be a good thing. If he didn't, then I was screwed. I decided that I simply wouldn’t. I wouldn’t let myself come. I would be cold and cruel. I would not melt.

  Except the pain from the clamp had set my juices flowing. The fact that I was bound, that I was blindfolded, made me crazy wet. I was already confused because Jack had thrust me onto the plane and into Alex’s arms without any warning. What was I supposed to think? That this was simply another one of Jack’s many daunting tests—performed faithfully by his robotic assistant? When we landed, would Alex hurry to a phone to call Jack, running down my behavior matter-of-factly, listening to what Jack would prescribe for each and every one of my disobedient moments?

  Would coming damn me or save me?

  “Look at that,” Alex continued, his voice hypnotic. “If I touch you like that, you get your sweet cream all over my fingertips. Are you always wet like this?” And then, after a beat, “Are you wet like this for Jack?”

  I would not come. He could touch me for the whole fucking plane ride, and I would not come.

  That’s the fairytale I told myself until he moved even closer to me, gaining better access, and began to focus those circles more intently. Tight around my clit. Not touching directly, but so fucking close. I was breathless now, trying my best to be stiff, impassive, but betrayed by my own damn body.

  I tried to clench my thighs together, but Alex pushed them easily apart. I tried to shove him aside with one shoulder, and he laughed. “Don’t think I won’t bind your ankles, too,” he said. “Don’t think I won’t leave you like that with the blanket off, so everyone can see. I’ve got a gag as well. You really don’t want to make me angry.”

  Because of who I am, because of what I like, those words simply made me wetter. Alex laughed darkly, fingertips dripping from my pussy. He moved his hand out of the safety of the blanket and began tracing his fingertips slowly over my parted lips. “Taste your pleasure. Lie to yourself, if you must, but taste yourself.”

  I licked his fingers clean, completely gone now. Over the desire to fight, craving only satisfaction. But Alex, deviant monster, was playing his own game. He pulled off the mask, so that I was left blinking in the light. He pushed back in his own seat and shut his eyes.

  “Alex—”

  “Do I need the gag?”

  Oh, Christ, he was going to leave me like this, under the blanket with my arms behind my back, panties off, pussy wet. On the verge, without release.

  I looked at him, pleading, and he finally sat back up, undid the cuffs, rebinding me quickly with my wrists in my lap.

  “Get some sleep,” he instructed, “and maybe I’ll reward you in a little while. I don’t want to catch you playing with yourself, though. No matter the temptation.” He made sure I was well covered, pillow under my head, and closed his eyes once more.

  Chapter Four: Tease

  Your mind plays tricks on you when you are bound. At least, mine does. I tend to tell myself stories, and by “stories,” I mean lies. That little voice in my head whispers astounding falsehoods. “You don’t need this,” it says. “You don’t have to be cuffed or tied or held in place in order to experience pleasure.” If I’m tied down long enough, the voice will continue. “Why do you give yourself over to someone else? Why do you crave submitting to someone else’s power?” Taunting me. Sneering at me.

  The devilish voice doesn’t kick in every time. Only enough to make me question myself. Enough to make me doubt.

  I don’t think Alex understood this, but Jack did.

  Alex was playing mean, binding my wrists in a way that allowed me to touch myself if I wanted to—while warning me that I’d better not. He’d brought me to the cusp and then left me alone. I rocked my hips on the seat, trying to find a more comfortable position, and I felt Alex watching me. He was waiting, a predator at the ready, to see if I would give him reason to pounce.

  I’d be good—as good as I could possibly be. I didn’t need to come. I understood the difference between wants and needs. If Jack had been the one at my side, then maybe I would have played things differently. But this was Alex—and I had competitive feelings toward the man. He’d issued a challenge. I would meet it and win.

  Still, I was so wet. All he had to do was stroke me and I’d come. All I had to do was exactly the same thing. Let my thumb crest over my clit. Let my middle finger drag against it.

  I’d come in publi
c before. Subtly, quietly, so that nobody knew. Could I take care of myself without Alex being aware? What if I waited for him to actually fall asleep, and then…

  As if he knew precisely what I was thinking, Alex slipped one hand under the blanket. He moved closer to me, so that his hand rested protectively over my pussy, cupping me, but not giving me any direct contact or pressure. A makeshift chastity belt. When I turned my head to look at him, he gave me a smug sort of smile and rested his head on my shoulder possessively.

  Now, there was no way. I was left all alone with my thoughts.

  How had I gotten here? On a trip to Paris with a man I wasn’t dating. A man I wasn’t even sure I liked. Was this what I wanted for real?

  Alex’s palm pressed suddenly against me, and I gasped.

  “Don’t move,” he whispered. “Close your eyes, and don’t move at all.”

  I bit down on my bottom lip, heart pounding, as slowly, so slowly, Alex began to touch me once more. Don’t move, he’d said. I wouldn’t move. He brought me back to the edge in seconds, running his fingers around my clit before tapping against me, solidly, perfectly. I held myself in place, eyes still shut, silently begging him, pleading with him to let me come. All of a sudden, I didn’t dislike him. All of a sudden, I didn’t question myself about wants or needs. The quest to climax was overpowering… yet, of course, he didn’t let me reach the end.

  I tried to grab his hand, to press down with my bound wrists, but he only laughed.

  “You’re so much fucking fun, you know it?”

  I turned my head away, but he gripped my chin and made me face him. “And you’re easy. So easy to mess with.”

  Nobody likes to hear things like that. I preferred to think of myself as tough. Yet all Alex had to do was stroke my pussy, and I was his. That’s what he was letting me know with his eyes. With his sly smile. I could hate him, and then crave him, going back and forth between those opposing emotions in seconds.

  “You like that,” he murmured, slipping his fingers into play. “Just like that,” he continued, fingertips wet with my juices. “You want to beg, but you don’t dare. You want to swear at me, but you don’t dare do that either.”

  “Fuck you,” I said, hissing the two words through clenched teeth. I tried to close my thighs, but Alex kept his hand where it was.

  “That’s better,” he said. “I don’t like you as much when you’re docile.”

  What could Jack have possibly told him? What were his orders? To mess with me for the twelve-hour flight? To keep me teetering until I broke? What on earth was the goal?

  “Give me a reason to hurt you,” Alex whispered, as if he were crooning sweet nothings to me. His hand slid up my body to pinch my nipples through my blouse. “Give me a reason, Sam. Be insolent, so I can slap your face. Be a brat. Doesn’t work for me when you’re obedient.” His eyes glittered. “You know that, don’t you?”

  To win, did I transform myself into a good girl?

  He pinched my nipples harder, twisting them, and I leaned my head back and sighed, trying desperately not to groan.

  “God, you’re beautiful when you do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Take it.”

  Where was Jack? I wondered, uselessly. And more importantly: what would Jack want me to do?

  Chapter Five: Bonjour Paris

  Twelve hours couldn’t have gone by slower. Alex spent the entire trip teasing me in the most decadently depraved ways. Letting me loose from the bindings only long enough to use the bathroom or—finally—to eat. He never once let me climax, and by the time we landed, I was in a state of total disorientation. Tired, because I’m not one of those people who can sleep on a plane. Still feeling confused by Jack’s absence. And filled with that yearning for satisfaction. I did my best to behave, standing in line with my passport, quiet at Alex’s side as he gathered our luggage.

  “Here,” he said, when we’d gotten through customs. “Go to the ladies’ room.”

  He handed over a small striped bag, like a cosmetics kit, and I looked from him to the offering in his hand, waiting for further instructions. What could possibly be in a bag this size? Not a dress. Or any sort of outfit aside from a bikini. Was he offering over an extra pair of panties? Alex had never returned mine.

  “And don’t you dare come.” His eyes blazed as if he could see inside of me. I hesitated for one more moment before he said, “Go, Sam. Now.”

  I took the bag in hand and found the nearest ladies’ room, entering a stall before unzipping the pouch. Inside, there was small bottle of lube—travel-size!—and a plug. I think I started to fear Alex a bit more right then. How far was he going to take his role of master? How much did he expect from me in the way of submission?

  I turned the plug around in my hand, another thought blooming in my head.

  Was this Alex’s great idea? Or was this a “gift” from Jack?

  That’s when I saw the note tucked into the outer slit of the bag. I rearranged my new package, slipping the cosmetic bag and plug into my purse so I could read the note, holding the paper in trembling hands. I opened the folded piece of paper and saw the words: “Do this for me.” I felt as if Jack were there in the bathroom watching. “Do this for me, Sam. I wish I could be with you. I wish I could be bending you over and slipping this toy inside of you, myself. Instead, do this for me. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  Alex had nothing to do with the gift. Or little, aside from being the courier. Jack was in charge. Even thousands of miles away, he was exerting his control. Where was he at this moment? Sleeping? Working? Thinking of me in a foreign ladies’ room, my panties still confiscated in Alex’s pocket, my pussy so wet I could have made myself come with only a few quick strokes. But somehow that would have been disloyal to Jack. I didn’t care what Alex thought, what Alex might do to me, aside for the fact that he would report my indiscretion to Jack.

  Holding the toy let me know that Jack had been planning this. Had he known from the start that he wouldn’t be traveling with me? Fresh questions made my mind reel—but I knew that if I took too long in the restroom, Alex would undoubtedly think that I had disobeyed him and made myself come.

  Quickly, I wet the toy with the lube, then slid the thing place, wishing badly for a pair of knickers to pull on over it. Walking gingerly, I returned to the crowds, searching for Alex. He was waiting in plain sight, and he came over and pulled me against a wall, sliding one hand down the back of my skirt, to check.

  “Good girl,” he said softly. “Good girl.”

  ###

  I’d been to Paris before, so I wasn’t another awestruck tourist, turning my head to take in every bit of the new scene. But I’m not jaded when it comes to the foreign travel. There is no way to arrive in Paris and not be moved by the magic of the city. In spite of my discomfort—or perhaps because of it—every sensation felt heightened. As if I were actually moving through one of those watery dreams. Not a nightmare—in spite of Jack’s absence—but a waking fantasy.

  We arrived at the upscale hotel, and Alex handled everything. He led me through the lovely lush lobby. He told me to sit, with that evil grin on his face, while he checked us in. I didn’t think to stand next to him, to listen to the name we were registered under. Had Jack booked two rooms—one for Alex and one for us? Adjoining rooms? I didn’t know.

  I perched on the edge of one of the deep leather seats and waited, recalling how Alex had spoken to me on the plane. He didn’t like me when I behaved, but I didn’t feel the strength to fight anymore.

  So I waited, sitting quietly with my legs pressed tightly together, and I wondered what was going to happen next.

  “This way,” Alex said, once we’d checked in, beckoning me to follow him.

  He took me to a room with a tiny balcony overlooking the street. I have absolutely no metal in my head, am one of those people who gets lost when spun around three times. Still, I had a fairly good idea of where we were. I’ve explored Paris thoroughly by foot. I knew the
shops around the hotel, knew where the Seine was, knew how to find my favorite café. I started to feel that familiar excitement building. I was here. In Paris. So what if I happened to be with Alex right now? Jack was with me in a way. He was sending notes and toys and instructions and…

  “Unpack,” Alex said, “we’re going out.”

  I did as he instructed, not even questioning him about the toy still inside of me. I hoped he’d let me take it out. Hoped he’d let me shower, slip into new clothes, or at least a set of panties. But I knew from experience with Alex not to even ask. I put away my clothes while he washed up, and then I waited.

  “Your turn,” he said, to my total relief. “Get cleaned up, and we’ll go.”

  “The toy…” I hesitated, unsure of how he’d respond. Had Jack even told him what was in the bag?

  “Oh, right,” Alex said, as if he’d forgotten all about why I was walking funny. “Come here.” Before I could think, he had me bent over the edge of the bed and was unceremoniously removing the plug and tossing the toy into a wastebasket. No embarrassment at all on his part. Sometimes Alex treated me more like a thing than a person.

  I wanted to cry when I took the shower. My emotions turned on me so that I felt unsure of how I’d behave when I went back into the room. But Alex wasn’t menacing. He sat on the sofa, waiting. Smoking. A smile for me while he watched me get dressed.

  “You’re doing fine,” he said, confusing me even more. “I would have thought you would have fought more, but you’re doing well.” Again my thoughts went wild. Did he want me to fight him? Did Jack? Christ, would I ever feel at ease in my world? Or was that the whole fucking point?

  ###

  Alex took me to an exclusive lingerie and sex toy store that was tucked down a side street near the hotel. A store that he—or Jack—had clearly scoped out ahead of time. If you didn’t know the place was there, you wouldn’t be able to find it. Curtains shielded the front windows from curious passersby, and there was a bell to press to be allowed in.